Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Most of my friends would be surprised to know......

Most of my friends would be surprised to know that I participate in online dating. Ok, Ok, maybe they wouldn't be so surprised now, online dating is a little more acceptable and I've lived in a bunch of cities where I didn't know anyone and I've been single for about a year and a half......

BUT, what they would be surprised to know is that I have been participating in online dating since Jan 2008. (yes, about 3 and a half years- we can see how well its working out) It's kind of a weird story on how I got involved with it.

So I graduated college in May 2007 and had a horrific break-up at the end of college (two weeks before graduation to be exact). Then after college I moved back home to live at home with my parents and start working my "big kid job." I moved back to the city I had grown up in, yet it seemed like so much had changed. I hadn't really had that many super close friends in high school, and those friends that I did have hadn't come back home from college, never went to college, or were on the 17 year plan at college, so it was like starting a whole new life over. I also had so many of my friends through the ex-boyfriend....lets nickname him Fluffy.....that I had lost so many of my friends in the break up as well. I was super depressed about the break up with Fluffy and would have done anything in the world to get back together with him. Of course he knew this, and used it to string me along for about a year after we broke up. So between being depressed, being strung along, and working an insane new job.....that was pretty much 2007. Welcome 2008.

So I went to dinner with my Sophomore year of college roommate when she was in town and she had called some of her our other friends from college to meet us. We started talking about adjusting to life after college and how it was so different than before college. We got to talking and one of the more conservative girls told me she had used this free website to meet people and make new friends since many of her high school friends had changed and they no longer shared common interests. She made it sound like a Facebook type of site designed to make you meet new people to hang out with etc. So about two weeks later, I was feeling lame sitting home on a Friday night by myself and decided to check it out. It kind of indicated prior to signing up that it was a dating site, but I assumed that was only one aspect of the site and that you could choose what you were wanting or something. It was free...what the heck.

So once I joined I realized, it was a pure dating site. I could only search for men and one of the questions they had answered was their idea of a perfect first date. Oh well, what could it hurt? I completed the profile and hesitantly even loaded a real photo of myself. 

In the back of my mind was, "maybe you can meet someone or go on a date and make Fluffy jealous and he'll want to get back together," however, what ended up happening was guys actually messaged me and wanted to talk to me. Granted most were not my type at all....wanted me to "let them hit that".....or were old enough to be my Dad, but in a weird way it brought back some of my confidence that the bad break up had taken away and made me feel somewhat desirable again.

Initially I just spent a lot of time chatting with people online, almost acting as if it were the AOL chat rooms I used to find entertaining in middle school. It was my social interaction when I really didn't have any friends to talk to about stuff or to go out with. It was a release by getting to talk through some things about my break up with people I didn't know and would never meet. It was great to get a male perspective on my situation. To have a guy listen to me....that was desirable.

Since then I have met some people off of online and used my profile on and off depending on whether or not I was seeing someone or if I was interested in looking at it or not. Lately it has been more often than not because come on now- I'm trying to meet people in FL! (More stories to come about these losers winners in future blogs)

Now not only would most of my friends be surprised to know that I have been using online dating....they would be surprised to know that they have even been introduced to some of the guys I have met off there.

"It's Florida- It cant be that hard to meet people...."

Yeah, thats what I thought too.....until I experienced it for myself.

So, as much as possible I would like to try to keep this blog anonoymous, so I'm gonna try not to say the exact area of Florida that I live in, particularly because it is a small community, and if I did actually make friends, I wouldn't want them to know how much thought and effort I put into making them....

So the area of Florida I live in makes it difficult to meet people. From what I have heard, it is the oldest county per capita in the United States, translation: people are freaking old and retired here. I live on the west coast (Gulf of Mexico side for those of you who have no idea what I am talking about) about 5 miles from the water, but about 30 minutes to the closest beach. The reason I ended up here was that I quit my job "up north" and moved to Florida while I looked for a job. I lived in one of my extended families "snowbird" houses (vacation home) while I looked for jobs. I decided that I really wanted to stay and live in Florida, but I was willing to take a job anywhere in the U.S. if I couldn't find one in Florida. Keep in mind- I quit at the worst time ever to be looking for a job- the economy is certainly in the toliet. Luckily I was able to find two job offers in Florida, one in a major city and one in a rural community.

Somehow, I decided on the one in the rural community, but I didn't let them know that I would take it until I found somewhere to live closer. The rural community was small, low-income, and in-land- aka not somewhere I was gonna live. So I had two days to find somewhere to live. I found the city and the area where I currently live. The cost of living was low and I was able to score a gorgeous 2/2 condo on a nature preserve. Sure- sign me up! The town seemed small but nice and appeared to have good tourism/local eateries, and looked higher income. I can deal with this. I signed a lease and have been living there for 5 months.

And in 5 months my Friday nights are still lonely, although I have made several attempts...continue reading my blog for how I have attempted and the people I have met :)


So lets talk about how I got here....

I never really thought blogging was for me, but now it looks as if I've come around. My best friend started a blog as one of her new years resolutions and at first I thought it was a super odd resolution, but I was amazed at how addicted I became to reading it. She needs to blog more! I have always been a fan of social media- a true Facebook addict here- but I never thought blogging would be for me.

I now have a desk job once more and regular 8-5 hours and find myself with a little more time than I previously had and have started reading some of the popular blogs out there. They are so entertaining and HILARIOUS. Although I have been seriously entertained by stories of travels, kids, meeting people, dating, baking, goals, etc. in discussing my life with others and the crazy shit that happens to me, I decided if I were to write a blog it would be equally entertaining if not BETTER.

So, a little more about me:

I have lived in 6 different cities in two years, all over the place- Midwest-South-and Now in Florida! It has always been my dream to live in Florida and I have succeeded in making it a reality....however....I don't know anyone! I moved here alone, single and about 1200 miles away from any of my friends. So this blog will be my trials and tribulations of trying to meet people in Florida. I hope to make the majority of the posts fairly real time, but might have to go back and share some historical stories since I haven't previously had a blog to share the hilarity and craziness of my life!

I would like to add that I obtained a lot of the inspiration and  motivation to write this blog from DateMeDC.com and her great stories, but I think I've got some stories equally good.....so follow my blog...

Or just meet me already!!!

Come on Meet Me FL!