Friday, July 29, 2011

Seamen's Sinking

OK, So as I mentioned before Seamen didn't make the cut. I mean as desperate as I was to have people to hang out with and stuff to do...he still didn't make it. 6-8weekish and I had had enough. His shining moment was the Orlando trip and then it was just annoying from there.

1) It got where I was not being myself around him, being fake and laughing at stuff I didn't think was funny and listening to him talk about stuff I didn't care about. He was just blah personality and socially weird.

2) I started not to be able to stand that he thought that becoming a Navy Officer was the hottest thing ever. 'Cause it wasn't. Dude- you're 28, kinda behind the times, and you could have made more money if you did like a "Green to Gold" (army terms, not sure what it is called in the Navy) program. A) I have a ton of friends in the military and most are officers, B) most enlisted guys are super immature----like Seamen C) You think you have a pilot slot, but you don' one just gives away pilots slots, I know too much for you to pull that one on me. D) You might not make it as an officer- cause you're just not that smart

3) I started realizing how dumb he really was. He had to try so hard in college just to get passing grades, not good grades. Ok, most people would think this was cute or that he had work ethic. I'm just a bitch and think you're kinda dumb. Only a few courses in college were really hard for me and I am a pretty good student- so dude....GET ON MY LEVEL....if not, I think I might have to move on.

4) Not only was he dumb, but he didn't respect education. He was cheating in some of his courses I find out. He was taking a Calc class online and having another student do the assignments. He had told me someone was helping him......later I find out that they were doing it. How did I find this out? Well he was registering for the next semester and found a school that had Calc 2 online and was going to take the class there. I though ok- you don't want to go to class. No he made a big deal about it and told me he had to have the course for Navy ROTC but that they might not accept online bla bla bla...turns out he knew he would fail fail fail if he actually had to take the course since his buddy had been doing all the online stuff for him. He said school was just a stepping stone and you didn't learn anything and it was pointless bla bla bla......okay Mr. Enlisted. Sorry that is just something an enlisted guy would say (wow I am a bitch). But you do not say all this stuff putting education down to someone like me who actually worked to earn a degree, didnt cheat and went back for a MASTER'S DEGREE....hello 20K in debt----education is dumb right?

5) He was a cheap we all thought I'm sure that he had redeemed being a cheap ass by taking me to Circus de Soeil right??? NOT! Turns out he knew a girl who worked in the box office and got the tickets for FREE! I'm all about connections and hook ups, but I thought that he had classed it up and put in some work. Maybe that is a lil materialistic of me, but this wasn't the first occasion. He was ALWAYS talking like a poor college kid. You shouldn't be a poor college kid at 28 unless you are a lawyer or a doctor.I was poor at the time also, but you didn't hear me saying things like, "Oh we'll go there once I get paid." The problem is I wanted to go and wanted to just pay for myself, but nooooooo.......he can't afford to pay his way. WTF You know how some people are just downers the way that they reference money all the time etc. that was him. He always wanted to drive, but then would bitch about gas etc. Then why did you offer and want to drive??? You have a yellow hummer, I feel like a huge d-bag anyway.

6) Droppin the L-bomb....yes he did it. "I'm falling in love with you." Saying that in 6-8 weeks is a good way to show me how much I'm not falling in love with you, you Crazy. We aren't even Facebook official. We're casually dating.

7) Stalker mode- so one night I wasn't feeling so hot and didnt want to talk to him. I texted him and told him as much as he didn't get the memo. Calling, Calling , Calling, Texting, Texting, Texting, and I would rarely respond to a text. So what does he do at 12pm, SHOWS UP AT MY HOUSE......"Oh, no you didn't" (said in black sha-na-nay voice) I lived an hour and 20 min away from him.....Sorry I wanted some me time. WACKO. So he came in and wanted to talk and I said I'm not talking, you can sleep here if you want cause its late, but im sleeping. He got all whiny and yelling and bla bla bla as I sat in my bed. I eventually gave in and kinda talked and let him sleep with me. He should have known that was the beginning of the end.

8) He yelled at me. I have dated a ton of type A guys and never really had any fights. I don't do fights. If we are fighting before we have been together a while officially then its just not worth it. Guys don't yell at MeetMeFL, just like "No one puts baby in the corner,"

9)Sex with him became work. It was just awkward. He was SOOOO into it like an animal. Like grunting and talking himself up....who does that! The first few times were good, but then I started just liking it for the attention and "atleast I was getting some." It became atleast this is a good cardio work out. It was messy too...he would sweat like a wild boar, not that I have slept with a wild boar but I can only imagine. And when I started my blog about Seamen a while back titled A lot of .....its vulgur yes I know but so true. It was like a fire hose. GROSS

10) He wasn't getting the clue. He invited me to holiday functions and to meet his family and I continually declined. We exchanged Christmas gifts a week or so before Christmas. He did get me pretty thoughtful gifts and I was impressed,he'd listening to things I wanted and put thought into others but it didn't make up for the awkward conversations, his weird social presence, his obsessive nature, immaturity and overall not match for me--ness.

And then Seamen sunk....

After the holidays, I upped my get out of here tactics and blew him off as much as possible...he eventually sent me mean texts and voicemails and really showed his true colors. He actually sent me a multiple page Facebook message with bad things about me that I never really felt the need to read so I haven't. I thought he was "falling in love with me" lol, obviously I had a lot he wasn't falling in love with either. Seamen really showed how immature and pathetic he was by sending that email to a girl you met online and casually dated for a few weeks. Hope he pulls it together before he thinks he is going to be An Officer and a Gentleman, or else his relationSHIPs will continue to sink.

I was happy it was over, I like just dangling my toes in the water anyway....not sure I need a relationSHIP.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Seamen Suprises

So I wasn't always a huge bitch I guess to the Seamen. I think he really really liked me. Well actually I know he did, which was eventually one of the reasons I eventually broke it off, but it wasn't all bad. I mean, I started this blog to talk about all the losers I have met and all the crazy things I have encountered in trying to meet people in Florida, but sometimes there are good surprises.

So I had scheduled an meet and greet/interview in Orlando, FL to talk to someone face to face about a potential job opportunity I was interested in applying for. I had looked at scheduling it for either a Tuesday or a Wednesday, and the Seamen encouraged me to schedule it for a Tuesday so that he could drive with me. I thought that this was a really nice gesture because he had experience in the career area that I was looking at and I thought that he was going to sit in on the meeting with me. I made the appointment for a Tuesday. Then I got my part-time job schedule and I was scheduled to work on Tuesday. I tried to switch with everyone possible and it wasn't, so I was going to change my appointment time and when I talked to the Seamen he strongly discouraged me from changing it. I ended up keeping it for that Tuesday and calling in sick for part of my shift.

So I drove to Tampa and met the Seamen and we headed in my car to Orlando for my appointment. He looked cute, wearing a combination that I had told him looked great on him, jeans, collared shirt and a sweater over it. Yes- I live in FL, but this was December. (we weren't wearing coats like the rest of you) But also, he was 28 and had the worst style sense ever! You need to upgrade to an adult woredrobe at some point....

We chatted the ride and I still wasn't sure about him, he talked kind of weird and like talked A LOT. I mean, I have been known to talk a lot, but this is a guy, and a lot of what he talked about I really didn't care about. This should have been a warning sign- but I was lonely and it was nice to have someone with some similar interests and most importantly someone to do stuff with. One thing I REALLY didn't like is that he always made comments about how he was broke etc. or coupons or "can't buy it til my next paycheck." I mean that is fine, I am not really that materialistic, I just don't want to know about it or hear about it, deal with it on your own and don't make yourself sound like a loser to someone you are trying to court. I mean, I want to be with someone who can buy concert tickets and not have to wait til their next paycheck. I feel like that is something people said in middle school. Not when you are 28.

Ok, that was a side note, now back to the story...

So we get to the office in Orlando, and he says, "Go ahead in, this is your thing, I'll wait in the car." WHHHAATTTT??? I was shocked, I know we had talked about how it was nice to have someone to ride in the car with you and how we were going to eat at a cool restaurant in Orlando, but I thought the main reason was that he was going to go with me for moral support and to listen in. At first I was kind of upset, but then within 2 min, I was happy. I thought it was very thoughtful for him to say that and empower me by just being there to sit in the car. ONE PROBLEM- I was in there for a long time, and I kind of forgot I had someone in the car with me, I mean I might have been in there for 2 hours.....ooooopppssss. The meeting went well and I headed back out to the car.

When I got back to the car, Seamen was in there napping and I didn't feel so bad. He said that he had gotten thirsty and had to pee and had walked to a gas station, but other than that it was no big deal. ONE POINT FOR SEAMEN

I then asked him, "So what's the plan?" And he said that we were going to head to dinner. "Cool, just tell me where to go."

He gave me directions and we headed closer and closer to Disney property, which I didn't realize until the signs started having Mickey ears and everything started to get happier, lol. We eventually pulled up on Downtown Disney.

I was excited because I had never been to Downtown Disney, but I was nervous in the same respect because I was thinking that it was like a theme park and I was anticipating the expensive entrance ticket and at the time was working part-time and didn't really have the extra $100 to spend. I was relieved to find out that it had all the glory of a theme park and all the Disney touches, but no rides or free shows so it did not have an entrance fee. The Seamen said that he thought we would walk around and check it out before dinner. Great- TWO POINTS FOR SEAMEN

But, I had had had to pee. So I told him," I'm sorry but I have to run ahead and find a bathroom." I jogged up to the main street area from the parking lot, searching for a pee spot head looking all around like a dog searching for a new pee spot in some other dog's backyard. Seamen caught up and found me frantic and pointed in the direction of the bathroom....AHHHHH

It was right under a big staircase heading up to Circus de soleil. When I came out of the bathroom, the Seamen was not outside the bathroom waiting for me, so I came out again like a dog looking all around for my owner. When I finally spotted him he was at the Will Call window for Circus de soleil. I waited til he was done at the counter and he had an envelope in his hand.

"Oh, were you asking about ticket prices or picking some up for your mom or something? that would be a good Christmas gift for your mom." - me

"Um, no, these are for us, tonight....." - seamen

"WHHHHAATTTTTTT!!! oh my god, you can't be serious! Aren't these like super expensive? oh my god, I've been dying to see this, oh my god, seriously???" he head nods "I'm so freaking excited"

I jump up and hug and kiss him like a fool.  GAZILLION POINTS FOR SEAMEN

He handed me the tickets casually and said,  "Can you put these in your purse? Let's find somewhere to eat before, we don't have all that much time"

I opened them and on the inside of the envelope there was a map of the seats an two tickets inside. I looked at the date and time and they were in fact for that night! He then went to the bathroom and I continued to study the tickets. I looked at the seat numbers and referenced the map on the inside of the envelope....THIRD ROW FROM THE STAGE!!!!


For those readers who may not know me personally, I danced from age 2-24 and I love gymnastics, arts, shows, theatre etc. So this could not have been more perfect. wow- he did awesome

We walked around Downtown Disney- which in itself was pretty interesting and looked for somewhere to eat. Most placed had a bit of a wait or didn't look quick enough. We ended up with a cafe like Italian place and just ordered pasta and pizza, similar to Fazolis style. We ate outside on the patio where we could watch people wandering around Downtown Disney- even though it was pretty much freezing outside (for us Floridians). It was nice and then we headed back towards Circus de Soleil and got there just as they were opening the doors for the show. We got inside and he purchased a beer for himself and a glass of wine for me and we headed to our seats. No photography or I would have taken a photo (ok, so I did sneak some photos before they scolded others)....AMAZING.

They were perfect. Best view ever- not too close where you missed stuff, but so close i could see the people's sweat. I was in heaven. The show was amazing and I couldn't stop talking about it the whole ride home.

Although by this point, I'd already hooked up with him- he was pretty hot ok, don't judge- this time he definitely deserved it. Way to go Seamen!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011


So, since I am such an amazing date, Seamen asked me out again the following night. Other than being a horrible horrible horrible kisser, and awkward kissing approach, and pretty much everything that had to do with being a smooth move maker...I had had a good time, well better than I had had on the couch at home, so I said yes. He was actually interesting, plus he was ummm....Super Hot and had a great body (from what I had seen in photos and he looked great in clothes). So I drove to Tampa and we went out for Mexican food. Really- FYI- Mexican food should be saved for later dates...greasy, bloaty, gassy, unattractive to eat food group. He had claimed that they had great Margaritas....

So maybe, this is where the side note comes in....I LOVE MARGARITAS. If I had a lock on my pants, the key would likely be shaped like a bottle of tequila, come with a pretty glass key chain, a lime key chain, and definitely salt. MUST have SALT! This is not a new thing- I have always loved Margaritas. I blame it on my mother. My mom used to go to work Happy Hours and have to take me along and I would always get a Shirley Temple or a Soda- but she would always let me have a sip of two of her margarita and I'm talking when I was ten and under....and so my love affair with margaritas began. In college, I didn't drink hardly at all, only a special functions or a summer day at  Fluffy's house, but I would mix up some margaritas at my apartment. For my 21st birthday, the girls knew I loved Margaritas and they all took me to a Mexican restaurant for my first legal 'ritas. In college, Fluffy would make me the most perfect margaritas and I would be dancing around the living room and pass out just in time for him to go out. During the summers after college, my mom and I would hit Happy Hour at one of the local Mexican places and both get a good buzz going on one or two. Yes......I said one or two. As much as I go out and party and try to meet people etc.....I have a LOW alcohol tolerance. Lately, I have been drinking A LOT more since I have been going out to bars so much trying to meet people, but I still have a low alcohol tolerance.

So, back to "the best margaritas," they were definitely not the best, but they were HUGE!!!! So at this time, I had moved to a city and hadn't been going out,  previous to that I lived in a city where I traveled all the time for work and hadn't been going out for about a year, so I pretty much had ZERO alcohol tolerance. I warned Seamen that I had a low tolerance- yet he still ordered me a HUGE one?? hmmm alternative motive?-and told him I might not want to drive that close to drinking them. He said that that was fine and we continued the date. We talked a lot, he more than I, and he did this weird talking thing...more on that later. And I slurped down 1/4 of my margarita and I was ummm...PPPPRRRREEETTTTTYYYY TIPSY. I again said that I was pretty good and he then said, if you need to sleep at my place you can. I pretty much knew if I drank that, his couch would be calling my name. Yet- I continued to drink it. He had almost finished his in the time I had drank a 1/4 of mine, and I think he ordered another one. I finished mine and I was wa-wa-wasted.

Then ......DUN DUN DUN......the check came....I feel like this is one of the most dreaded parts of any date.  I couldn't deal with the awkwardness and grabbed it right away and put my card in it- with out even looking-he didn't even CARE! Sorry dude, I know it is the 21st century an all, but I'm working part time looking for a real job and you're 28! Obviously if I didn't have the cash I wouldn't do it, but the thought that he didn't care at all or even really comment kind of bothers me, I need sooommmmmmeeeee chivalry. Guys are supposed to pay for sex...not girls (later on my theory of how guys pay on dates cause it leads to sex). Anyway, that was a small issue anyway...we still had the awkward talking and horrid kissing to deal with.

So then he's like, "we should go back to my place and watch a movie,"......UM NO! 1) Barely know you and that sounds like a hook up sesh 2) Hook up sesh means awkward moves and horrible kissing 3) I'm DRUNK let's party, Earlier in the night his friends had texted him and said they were doing the usual, playing trivia at their local hangout, so I suggested we go there and meet up with them, Trivia Nights are ALWAYS good. So he reluctantly called them and they were still there so we go to meet them.

Bar was smokey and had an interesting crowd but was fine for the circumstances. His friends consisted of two couples, which BTW is never a good group of friends to take a first/second date to, so we were all coupled up...How Cute....vomit. At least there were girls there, but then again where there are girls you walk in to the courtroom...that is because they are judging EVERY little thing the "new" girl does. Well let's just say I was wasted at this point, so the judges weren't too happy and if they could they would have likely put me in contempt.

Annnnnddddd I continued to drink, they had these Milky Way Martinis on special...delicious! So after two martinis later, the Seamen was the best thing since flavored lip balm and I was so interested in him and everything he said. He liked it a little too much...Mr. Cocky....oh well. Anyway, we continued the party after trivia at the bar next door where there was Karaoke. Now we were one of only two tables in the bar, yet there was a huge stage and Seamen decided to sing all kinds of songs. And he thought he was GGGGRRRRREEEAAAATTTT. I was drunk and ordered another drink (now up to 4) to listen to him. And he kept going up there, over and over and over and over, WHO DOES THAT? 

So I told him that I had never done Karaoke, well he had no part of I finally gave in and did it. My first and only time....apparently I was good, people actually talked about it the next day and the next time I saw them. (or maybe I was that bad and it was all a joke I have not yet been clued in on). I finished my performance just as two girls walked into the bar.

I sat back at the table and drunkenly said to the Seamen. "You have fucked that girl in the white shirt haven't you."  His face turned white and he said, "Uh, Uh, Uh, maybe..." "I could tell." "But I didn't even look at her or say anything to her." "I'm good like that."

This is when my blackout begins, but Seamen did have some great stories  to share with me in the morning, so I will relive them now.

So I obviously still thought he was amazing in my drunken state and I was in no condition to drive anywhere let alone walk out of the bar. He took me back to his place to crash for the night. He of course started kissing me when we got back to his place. I pull away from him and told him (I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THIS) "You are the worst kisser ever. You will never get in anyone's pants if you continue to kiss that way."


Well, it turned out that it was SUPER DRUNK BITCH to the rescue, because he actually liked the criticism and when I woke up in the morning and kissed him goodbye he had actually taken everything I had said and was actually a normal kisser. Apparently in my drunken state I had told him everything he was doing wrong etc. As I left that morning I felt so bad for being THAT DRUNK GIRL, and for being such a bitch and saying that to him, but then I thought if he is this coachable at kissing, what else (XXX) could he be coachable at....maybe he could get in my pants if he kept kissing the new and improved way.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

A lot of Semen...Seamen

So, the first online encounter I had in Florida was about a month or so after I moved to the land of palm trees. I hadn't talked to him online much but he seemed pretty out going and not shy. We decided to meet for coffee at Starbucks. He lived about an hour and ten minutes from me at the time in the largest city in the area, but we decided to meet halfway in between, so that neither was put out. I told him I would text him when I left my house so that he could estimate when he would need to leave. Of course, I left my house and drove for about 20 minutes before I ever texted him. I wanted to ensure that I got there first and was able to check out the area scene, etc. (you can never be too careful). I arrived in plenty of time and I parked my car where I had a good view of the people coming in and out of both the parking lot and Starbucks. In true Florida style, there was a ton of outdoor seating, so I was happy. I was also able to observe all the people there from my car. I was shocked at the number of highschoolers and teeny boppers at Starbucks, oh well.

So when he arrived he called me, and I was looking for the person on the cell phone. I spotted him and what type of vehicle was he getting out of.....a YELLOW HUMMER. Can any other vehicle please scream douche bag any louder?? I didn't think this would go well. So I kind of was evasive on whether or not I was there and watched his mannerisms and him wander around the parking lot. I finally gave in and let me know I was sitting in my car in front of the neighboring bank. He walked up to my car, I got out and shook his hand and we headed in to Starbucks.

Now after the YELLOW HUMMER incident I was definitely gonna judge his coffee order. He didn't get coffee but Soy, Chai Tea, like the EXTRA HUGE ONE. So still a little douchey.  He did offer to pay, and wouldnt let me pay when I argued, so this actually was a good start compared to several other guys I would go out with in the future. We settled in to a table outside.

So we started talking and what I first noticed was he was WAYYYYYY hotter than any of his photos online. He also had a GREAT body and I learned why as our conversation headed from what you do for a living all the way to fitness and how you keep in shape. He was super into Crossfit. (After meeting him I have always wanted to try Crossfit, but since I live in old people 'ville the closest one is 50 min away).

He was 28 and a  full-time college student at USF and worked part time at Publix as a stocker in the meat department. So, I know what you are probably thinking....."why did you go out with him in the first place?" He had actually been in the Navy for 6 years and then got out of the Navy to go to college. He ended up going to school part time while working for two years and then decided that he wanted to go back into the Navy as an officer and as a pilot and applied for a ROTC scholarship at USF and received it, so he would be going back into the Navy as an officer after graduation. So, anyone who knows me knows I have the SOFTEST spot for military guys, so he had a definite in.

So that is why from now on, he will be known as Seamen.

So the conversation flowed pretty naturally, he was SUPER talkative and had some weird mannerisms, but it really was great to be out and doing something. I was drinking my hot chocolate pretty slow and was very comfy at Starbucks and felt good about how it was going. He had SLURPED own his HUGE tea and I had barely put a dent in my hot chocolate when he was like "Are you ready?" "For what..." "I thought we'd head down to the pier, if this was going well...."

He got a big score there from me...He actually had thought about it in advance and had asked me what I was interested in and knew I would like Florida things....Score for him.

I hesitantly decided to get in the yellow hummer and we took one car out to the Pier. It was about a 10-15 min drive, but the conversation kept flowing. So all was good. The beach was beautiful and the Pier was long and extended far into the ocean. It cost 50 cents to get on the Pier and it also cost to park (glad we only took one car, I was broke at this time) we walked out on the Pier and the view was breathtaking. The city was lit up and huge hotels and condo complexes lined the beach. A few people were fishing, but the water was so clear that you could see the fish. I think the fish could see us too and weren' stupid. The pier had lights shining down in the water and the fish seemed to glow beneath the surface....romantic yes. Well played Seamen, well played.

We continued to chat and he told me about his ocean adventures in the Navy as we stared out into the wide ocean. He stood close to me and eventually warmed up and put his hand on teh small of my back as I leaned over the edge of the pier. He had won me over so far, yet I was still stand-off ish.

The pier was closing down for the night, so we walked back to the car. He asked me if I had to be going or if he could show me more Florida and I said yes. We got in the car and drove to "the causeway" (I think that is what it is called) which was not what I expected. It was a road right down the side of the bay, on one of the bridges that crossed the bay. It reminded me of those mountain cliffs that you see in movies where teenagers go to make out in cars etc. It was a great view, but I remained on guard. We continued to talk, windows rolled down with the sea breeze blowing in. I loved it.

Then, he finally did it.....he leaned in and kissed me. It was the WORST kiss of my entire life. He must have beenan arm wrestling fan, because he was definitely attempting to create a tounge wrestling match with my tounge and down my throat. His face was also like super prickly and felt like sandpaper against my cheeks.

I could play it off once, okay we got that out of the way, let's go home. But then, he wanted to do it OVER and OVER and my head, I'm screaming....LET's GO! I want to go get my car! Yet I was polite and participated but eventually said, I'm tired let's go.

I couldn't believe it, he seemed pretty good, nice, military, etc. But he was trying to choke me wih his tounge and wanted to make out like we were 14!! WHO DOES THAT????? Seriously....

So he took me back to my car at Starbucks, and OF COURSE had to kiss me AGAIN  Goodnight. I drove home while checking out my chin, which was red and hurt to the touch due to his rough sand paper face and I felt like I also had his drool on it....maybe the drool would moisturize the abrasion...gross.

Now this entry wouldn't be called A lot of Seamen, If I didn't go out with Seamen again, so yeah, I was dumb, but stay tuned for more of my semen Seamen stories.....

Monday, June 6, 2011

Tactic #3 Join a Club

Ok, so I was using all aspects to meet people, and I started to try to use my superb google skills to find things to do for young people in the area. I hadn't even moved to my current city yet, but had it all lined up, and I had the idea to look for a young professionals organization in the area. I actually found one after quite a lot of surfing, but it worked out well and they were having the first meeting of the year about a week after I moved in to my new place and two days after I started my job.

The first meeting was pretty good, the speaker had backed out- but there was good wine so I was happy. The meeting was held at this great Tapas restaurant with a nice size meeting room and a huge back patio with heaters. Ok, I know it is Florida- but the heaters were necessary. As it was the first meeting of the year it appeared that they had a great turnout. The dynamic of the meeting was interesting...I guess with the average age in town being around 70, the way you interpret "young" begins to change. I would say that a significant number of people at the meeting were in their forties. Also people knew right away that I wasn't from around here because I hadn't dated "your brother's sisters's cousin's hairdresser who was in your first grade class." Although Florida is the land of transplants, in this area it seems that the people were all transplanted from "up-north" before the age of ten and therefore all went to high school together. It's so bad here that you don't even have to ask "The St. Louis Question" because people already know where you went.....creepy...and they didn't even have to facebook stalk you.

So, I stuck out like a sore thumb, which was good in some ways because people felt obligated to try to include me, however, I use the word obligated, because the majority of the people there were very fake about it. They would take my phone number and say they'd call, or "we'll go out on the boat next weekend" but they never do....I understand that they don't need new friends and that I am the one who needs the new friends, but come on people...DON'T TEASE ME LIKE THAT! I did end up drinking a lot of wine and having stimulating conversation and I was out of my house so I wasn't complaining, just wished I could have gotten more out of it. As the new girl that people hadn't seen before I did leave with my tab being paid twice and neither time by me, so I can't complain at all :)

I guess I look back on the experience now worse than it was mostly because it didn't materialize into anything more. The clubs communication and reaching out to new members was not good at all. I only attended another meeting afterwards, (and ended up paying dues and joining- but I haven't been to another meeting since forking out the cash), and it was only because I had been bored that day at work and was looking on facebook and saw that the meeting was that night. At the first meeting I went to they talked about their next events like a monthly luncheon that they have- the problem for me with that is that I get 1 hour for lunch, but I work 30 minutes away from the county that they do the lunch meetings in...soooo yeah. Then the next meeting after the initial one I went to was when I had to go out of town for work, etc. etc. I think that I could make friends and make a better run at this life here, but I need communication to know when things are going on etc.

I guess, I'll leave this tactic as...."I guess it looks good on a resume."

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Tactic #2 Online Dating

So, I previously blogged about my experience with online dating, but I felt I needed to include it as a Tactic so that you could understand my motivations. I pretty much decided that online dating was like Christmas presents from Grandma,---you are either getting an Ugly Sweater or a Cha Ching Check, so it could go either way. I also figured that as out going as I am, I can have drinks or coffee with just about anyone for about an hour or so. It also is good practice for business situations when you are forced to talk and socialize with people you other wise wouldn't. Also, it could be great practice for when you really find someone you would want to date. Another benefit is that just because you don't click with that person doesn't mean you couldn't be friends..and that is truly what I need. And who knows...their friends could be awesome as well even if he isn't. Most people meet the man of their dreams through someone through someone maybe an online meeting might eventually lead to the man of my dreams, even if he isn't participating in the craziness of online dating. Since I am now in Florida and lonely I am much more excited about online dating because it is a way for me to go out and get drinks or just do SOMETHING and not be alone. If I get to meet people and get out of the house, I'm interested. Stay tuned for crazy online dating stories......

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Tactic #1 - Through Others (2)

So I also knew my Aunt and Aunt is a super fit stud and my Uncle is a Firefighter, they have been married for about 2 or 3 years and previously had been dating for 10 years (maybe more). The are both known as partiers, she makes a killer Cosmo and he cocktails from the Keys- mostly Captain.

So these things are all great right? Fun? Fit? Firefighters? Cocktails? Yeah you would think. There are two problems to this equation. One is their age- she is 55ish and he is 46ish (they are aunts and uncles- who really knows their exact ages). They have fun, but as far as meeting people through them- the majority of their friends are in the same age range. People in that age range can be cool, but they have things like 2 ex husbands, fake boobs because they forgot where theirs used to be, Botox, mortgages, kids, and one really bad thing is KIDS YOUR AGE. You think that that last one might be a good thing, but its not. Have you ever seen the kids of your parents guys never became friends for a reason. Ok, maybe I might get set up on a date out of it, but a friend date- when I'm looking for friends?? SUPER AWKWARD.  My aunt an uncle also hang out with a lot of younger people or people who waited late in life to have kids, so their kids are high school and freshman in college age- so that knocks a lot of them out from trying to "hook me up" with their kids.

The second problem is my Uncle is not a family man. He does his own thing and treats my Aunt great, but he isn't the most social with the family- me included. He feels that families should keep separate...whatever- What this means for me: No boating trips/fishing trips :( and the main downfall NO HOT FIREFIGHTERS for me :( He says that the guys at his work are all older and have families and stuff, but I'm thinking he is just not looking on the right shift for me. He does work for a small city and station.....but come on I know prince charming is waiting to rescue me from a burning building on his big ladder right???  Another complication of my Uncle being a firefighter is that he works their crazy schedule- 24 hours on 48 hours off. So my Aunt and Uncle have to plan their time together accordingly and my M-F 8-5 doesn't really mesh well with their schedules.

I did try meeting some people through my Aunt at the gym that she works at. The age issue comes into play there also, as where she works most people are significantly older- 35-60 range (35 might be pushing the lower limit). But let's be honest people don't go to the gym to make friends, we wear iPods and zone out and the last thing we want to do is meet someone new, I mean we ARE looking our best -frizzed out hair and sweaty crotches-why wouldn't this be the ideal meeting ground?

I did take a lot of exercise classes at the gym, and people are more friendly and receptive to chatting before and after classes and sometimes in class if it is that type of class, but its fake and it goes away. It would be really nice to meet a friend at the gym though because then I would know that they were interested in being fit and all the other fun walks, jogs etc I would like to do outside of the gym. I know you will get sick of hearing it, but the AGE factors in again in these classes. Aerobics and fitness classes became popular in the '80s so the majority of the participants are people who were in their 20s and 30s in the '80s aka people my parents ages :(.

My Aunt also works at an all female gym- so its not like I was gonna find any romance there. What would the equivalent of a "Bromance" for women be....a "Womance?"  Let's just be honest, women are hard to meet. I think I would have more luck if I was looking for a little lesbo carpet munching action than I am just looking for a friend.  People at this gym don't worry, I've gone south.....and not like that....I won't be trying to meet you today.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Tactic #1- Through Others (1)

Ok, so maybe I fibbed a little about not knowing ANYONE in Florida. When I first moved to Florida, I lived in a city where I did know a few people, my Aunt, Uncle, and Cousin. I was living in my other Aunt's vacation home in the same city, but now I no longer live in that city but instead live about an hour south.

So when I first moved to Florida, I lived near people I knew for two months before relocating. During this time I was applying for "big kid jobs" and working at a retailer for the holidays as a fill-in manager. So I did have some human interaction.

So my first tactic to meet people was to meet people that my cousin, Aunt and Uncle knew. However, I really didn't want to come off strong and make them feel like they HAD to entertain me or had to find me friends. I wanted to become a Floridian as fast as possible and not make them feel like they were entertaining a family tourist that had come for the week to stay but instead stand on my own two feet.

Now, this blog might make me sound like I'm not, but I am VERY INDEPENDENT, but I do enjoy the company of others and particularly when you are trying new things and exploring new places. At this time, since I had recently moved to Florida, I was still very independent and enjoying just "living the life," going to the beach as much as possible, wearing sundresses, walking around and oogling at the palm trees etc. It was different than now, where I still do many of the same things, but long for someone to go to the beach with me and just generally not be so alone.

(Back to the Tactic) So my cousin is around my age, hes 27 almost 28, and he works as an officer for the State of Florida. In the last year, he bought a house in the same community that my Aunt's vacation home is in that I was living in and I could actually walk to his house. (He is also single and has his shit together -even has a college degree- and would really be a catch for a lucky girl.) He has always had to entertain family members when we would come and visit and he never seemed to enjoy it- one of the complications of living in Florida I guess- so I didn't want to impose on him at all.

I was very surprised that my first weekend in Florida, he called me to go out with his friends. SCORE!!!! I'm thinking I can meet people, PLUS he works in a male dominated field so mostly in-shape manly guys, so many will likely be HOTTIES just my type. Of course I tried to play it off like I wasn't all that interested so I wouldn't sound desperate.  Plus he had actually called me ahead of time and not texted, so I had to play it cool in my voice as well.....since I wasn't great at this, we decided when it got closer to going out time, we'd text. The following texts went something like this:

(251): So when are you guys thinking of going out?  <-- of course I'm already ready sitting in my house
(941): eh Idk-you can just come over here and then we'll see
(251): Ok, I could do that. I guess I'll jump in the shower <--Already ready, but still scared it might be to early to claim to be starting to get ready
(wait 15 min) (251): So where do you usually go?
(941): It depends. Idk what we are up to tonight, probably a local bar <--Change clothes frantically 20 times, end up wearing a sundress still self-conscious that it is November and maybe Floridians don't wear sundresses in November even though it is 80 degrees....but I didn't want to look like a tourist
(941): I'll be over in a bit

So my cousin was known in our family to be quite a partier. He took the 7 year plan through college and I am pretty sure he had  A LOT more fun in college than I did. So I was expecting a good night. I met my cousin at his house and he got dressed and then we headed out together to meet his friends. I was assuming this to be a big group of mixed sexes ready to get their drink on. We pull up to a place in a strip mall called World of Beer. We go in and it is fairly empty, but I loved it since half of the place was outside. His "group" was sitting at the indoor bar. The "group" was two guys. One was my cousin's roommate and the other was his friend of a friend of a friend. Greeaaatttt.....Think positive- two people I didn't know before.

They both had been drinking a while and my cousin and I were fresh, so we went to order a drink, turns out the only thing World of Beer offers is umm...BEER. Since I am not a beer drinker, this would be interesting. I found out that they had ciders and I ordered a Strongbow- something I knew I could handle because it had been Fluffy's favorite after he had come home from the UK.  I had a couple of ciders and was feeling pretty good- so in my usual fashion I started not only talking more to the guys we were with but started exploring the bar and talking to the people next to us etc.

Through this I learned that coming to a male dominated bar (maybe because they only serve BEER)GGGGRRROOOOSSSSSSS! This made me feel like I needed to talk to anyone in the bar that was decent looking at all and inform them that this was not the case. I did talk to a few and communicate this- but it got kind of "not so fun" and went back to  the group.

Turns out the "group" was YOUNG. I was expecting quite the opposite since my cousin was older than me. But these kids were younger than me. My cousin's roommate worked with him and the other guy worked at a Bait Shop out near the beach.

My cousin's roommate finally stood up because he had to go to the bathroom.....and I determined he was cute, was like "HONEY I SHRUNK THE HOT MAN." He was soooo little. He has a pretty okay personality, laughs, jokes and smiles a lot. He also dresses nice. He is well built- ok deliciously built if I was like 14- but it looks like he was at the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory and played with the shrinky machine too closely. He is maybe 5'7" and might weigh 160 only because he is so well built. The smallest thing was his well sculpted waist. I think his waist could likely fit in the thigh of one of my pants legs. I'm pretty sure he is all the way through puberty and this is as good as it gets....Is there a machine that does the opposite of the "Honey I shrunk the Kids" machine?

(Honey I Shrunk The Hot Man has since been dating a girl about the same size as me- if not bigger.....I'm not sure how she does it....maybe everything isn't in proportion.....*if you know what I mean*)

Well, the night was pretty low key. I rode back to my cousins house, watched some TV with him and the "group" drank some water and sobered up and drove the whole 2 miles home and reflected on the night....I got out of the house and met some that point I had been a little disappointed, but now looking back I should have been very happy. I'd love a similar night out any day now that I have lived in Florida for 7 months and don't really have any friends.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Most of my friends would be surprised to know......

Most of my friends would be surprised to know that I participate in online dating. Ok, Ok, maybe they wouldn't be so surprised now, online dating is a little more acceptable and I've lived in a bunch of cities where I didn't know anyone and I've been single for about a year and a half......

BUT, what they would be surprised to know is that I have been participating in online dating since Jan 2008. (yes, about 3 and a half years- we can see how well its working out) It's kind of a weird story on how I got involved with it.

So I graduated college in May 2007 and had a horrific break-up at the end of college (two weeks before graduation to be exact). Then after college I moved back home to live at home with my parents and start working my "big kid job." I moved back to the city I had grown up in, yet it seemed like so much had changed. I hadn't really had that many super close friends in high school, and those friends that I did have hadn't come back home from college, never went to college, or were on the 17 year plan at college, so it was like starting a whole new life over. I also had so many of my friends through the ex-boyfriend....lets nickname him Fluffy.....that I had lost so many of my friends in the break up as well. I was super depressed about the break up with Fluffy and would have done anything in the world to get back together with him. Of course he knew this, and used it to string me along for about a year after we broke up. So between being depressed, being strung along, and working an insane new job.....that was pretty much 2007. Welcome 2008.

So I went to dinner with my Sophomore year of college roommate when she was in town and she had called some of her our other friends from college to meet us. We started talking about adjusting to life after college and how it was so different than before college. We got to talking and one of the more conservative girls told me she had used this free website to meet people and make new friends since many of her high school friends had changed and they no longer shared common interests. She made it sound like a Facebook type of site designed to make you meet new people to hang out with etc. So about two weeks later, I was feeling lame sitting home on a Friday night by myself and decided to check it out. It kind of indicated prior to signing up that it was a dating site, but I assumed that was only one aspect of the site and that you could choose what you were wanting or something. It was free...what the heck.

So once I joined I realized, it was a pure dating site. I could only search for men and one of the questions they had answered was their idea of a perfect first date. Oh well, what could it hurt? I completed the profile and hesitantly even loaded a real photo of myself. 

In the back of my mind was, "maybe you can meet someone or go on a date and make Fluffy jealous and he'll want to get back together," however, what ended up happening was guys actually messaged me and wanted to talk to me. Granted most were not my type at all....wanted me to "let them hit that".....or were old enough to be my Dad, but in a weird way it brought back some of my confidence that the bad break up had taken away and made me feel somewhat desirable again.

Initially I just spent a lot of time chatting with people online, almost acting as if it were the AOL chat rooms I used to find entertaining in middle school. It was my social interaction when I really didn't have any friends to talk to about stuff or to go out with. It was a release by getting to talk through some things about my break up with people I didn't know and would never meet. It was great to get a male perspective on my situation. To have a guy listen to me....that was desirable.

Since then I have met some people off of online and used my profile on and off depending on whether or not I was seeing someone or if I was interested in looking at it or not. Lately it has been more often than not because come on now- I'm trying to meet people in FL! (More stories to come about these losers winners in future blogs)

Now not only would most of my friends be surprised to know that I have been using online dating....they would be surprised to know that they have even been introduced to some of the guys I have met off there.

"It's Florida- It cant be that hard to meet people...."

Yeah, thats what I thought too.....until I experienced it for myself.

So, as much as possible I would like to try to keep this blog anonoymous, so I'm gonna try not to say the exact area of Florida that I live in, particularly because it is a small community, and if I did actually make friends, I wouldn't want them to know how much thought and effort I put into making them....

So the area of Florida I live in makes it difficult to meet people. From what I have heard, it is the oldest county per capita in the United States, translation: people are freaking old and retired here. I live on the west coast (Gulf of Mexico side for those of you who have no idea what I am talking about) about 5 miles from the water, but about 30 minutes to the closest beach. The reason I ended up here was that I quit my job "up north" and moved to Florida while I looked for a job. I lived in one of my extended families "snowbird" houses (vacation home) while I looked for jobs. I decided that I really wanted to stay and live in Florida, but I was willing to take a job anywhere in the U.S. if I couldn't find one in Florida. Keep in mind- I quit at the worst time ever to be looking for a job- the economy is certainly in the toliet. Luckily I was able to find two job offers in Florida, one in a major city and one in a rural community.

Somehow, I decided on the one in the rural community, but I didn't let them know that I would take it until I found somewhere to live closer. The rural community was small, low-income, and in-land- aka not somewhere I was gonna live. So I had two days to find somewhere to live. I found the city and the area where I currently live. The cost of living was low and I was able to score a gorgeous 2/2 condo on a nature preserve. Sure- sign me up! The town seemed small but nice and appeared to have good tourism/local eateries, and looked higher income. I can deal with this. I signed a lease and have been living there for 5 months.

And in 5 months my Friday nights are still lonely, although I have made several attempts...continue reading my blog for how I have attempted and the people I have met :)


So lets talk about how I got here....

I never really thought blogging was for me, but now it looks as if I've come around. My best friend started a blog as one of her new years resolutions and at first I thought it was a super odd resolution, but I was amazed at how addicted I became to reading it. She needs to blog more! I have always been a fan of social media- a true Facebook addict here- but I never thought blogging would be for me.

I now have a desk job once more and regular 8-5 hours and find myself with a little more time than I previously had and have started reading some of the popular blogs out there. They are so entertaining and HILARIOUS. Although I have been seriously entertained by stories of travels, kids, meeting people, dating, baking, goals, etc. in discussing my life with others and the crazy shit that happens to me, I decided if I were to write a blog it would be equally entertaining if not BETTER.

So, a little more about me:

I have lived in 6 different cities in two years, all over the place- Midwest-South-and Now in Florida! It has always been my dream to live in Florida and I have succeeded in making it a reality....however....I don't know anyone! I moved here alone, single and about 1200 miles away from any of my friends. So this blog will be my trials and tribulations of trying to meet people in Florida. I hope to make the majority of the posts fairly real time, but might have to go back and share some historical stories since I haven't previously had a blog to share the hilarity and craziness of my life!

I would like to add that I obtained a lot of the inspiration and  motivation to write this blog from and her great stories, but I think I've got some stories equally follow my blog...

Or just meet me already!!!

Come on Meet Me FL!