Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Most of my friends would be surprised to know......

Most of my friends would be surprised to know that I participate in online dating. Ok, Ok, maybe they wouldn't be so surprised now, online dating is a little more acceptable and I've lived in a bunch of cities where I didn't know anyone and I've been single for about a year and a half......

BUT, what they would be surprised to know is that I have been participating in online dating since Jan 2008. (yes, about 3 and a half years- we can see how well its working out) It's kind of a weird story on how I got involved with it.

So I graduated college in May 2007 and had a horrific break-up at the end of college (two weeks before graduation to be exact). Then after college I moved back home to live at home with my parents and start working my "big kid job." I moved back to the city I had grown up in, yet it seemed like so much had changed. I hadn't really had that many super close friends in high school, and those friends that I did have hadn't come back home from college, never went to college, or were on the 17 year plan at college, so it was like starting a whole new life over. I also had so many of my friends through the ex-boyfriend....lets nickname him Fluffy.....that I had lost so many of my friends in the break up as well. I was super depressed about the break up with Fluffy and would have done anything in the world to get back together with him. Of course he knew this, and used it to string me along for about a year after we broke up. So between being depressed, being strung along, and working an insane new job.....that was pretty much 2007. Welcome 2008.

So I went to dinner with my Sophomore year of college roommate when she was in town and she had called some of her our other friends from college to meet us. We started talking about adjusting to life after college and how it was so different than before college. We got to talking and one of the more conservative girls told me she had used this free website to meet people and make new friends since many of her high school friends had changed and they no longer shared common interests. She made it sound like a Facebook type of site designed to make you meet new people to hang out with etc. So about two weeks later, I was feeling lame sitting home on a Friday night by myself and decided to check it out. It kind of indicated prior to signing up that it was a dating site, but I assumed that was only one aspect of the site and that you could choose what you were wanting or something. It was free...what the heck.

So once I joined I realized, it was a pure dating site. I could only search for men and one of the questions they had answered was their idea of a perfect first date. Oh well, what could it hurt? I completed the profile and hesitantly even loaded a real photo of myself. 

In the back of my mind was, "maybe you can meet someone or go on a date and make Fluffy jealous and he'll want to get back together," however, what ended up happening was guys actually messaged me and wanted to talk to me. Granted most were not my type at all....wanted me to "let them hit that".....or were old enough to be my Dad, but in a weird way it brought back some of my confidence that the bad break up had taken away and made me feel somewhat desirable again.

Initially I just spent a lot of time chatting with people online, almost acting as if it were the AOL chat rooms I used to find entertaining in middle school. It was my social interaction when I really didn't have any friends to talk to about stuff or to go out with. It was a release by getting to talk through some things about my break up with people I didn't know and would never meet. It was great to get a male perspective on my situation. To have a guy listen to me....that was desirable.

Since then I have met some people off of online and used my profile on and off depending on whether or not I was seeing someone or if I was interested in looking at it or not. Lately it has been more often than not because come on now- I'm trying to meet people in FL! (More stories to come about these losers winners in future blogs)

Now not only would most of my friends be surprised to know that I have been using online dating....they would be surprised to know that they have even been introduced to some of the guys I have met off there.

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